My Story: 365 day blog challenge Day 94 Feeling Secure

365 Day Blog Post Challenge 2019
Day 94
375. What makes you feel the most secure?

Currently, what brings me the feeling of security is my husband and my parents. This has been a very challenging month. I went from finding out I had complex atypical endometrial hyperplasia to having a complete hysterectomy with a bilateral salpinectomy and oopherectomy. My surgery was Monday and I don’t know how I would have gotten through this month or surgery without them.  These three people have brought me much needed security this week. The surgery day was terrifying and this first few days of recovery has been challenging. My mom has been with me all week sitting here in the house with me while I sleep and heal. Given that I suffer from intense anxiety (it especially surfaces when I feel I have strange things going on within my body), having her here during the day while Don is at work has been a huge form of security. Sometimes (especially when it comes to anxiety) it is tough to be alone. There is a sense of security having someone close to help you if something goes wrong.I

I love these people so much and appreciate all they do (above and beyond) to make me feel that security needed to get through  this difficult time.

My Story: 365 day blog challenge Day 88 Most Important Thing

365 Day Blog Post Challenge 2019
Day 88
114. Isn’t this moment the most important thing?

Sometimes it takes difficult things to happen in life to make us remember how important it is to appreciate the everyday moments that we often take for granted.

I am down to just 3 days until the big surgery date.  On Monday I will be going in for my complete hysterectomy, bilateral salpingectomy and bilateral oophorectomy.  I have so many fears running through me right now.  So many “what-ifs”.  When I am afraid and am experiencing pretty intense anxiety, I will normally be stuck in my own head and become withdrawn and often times a little snippy towards others.  Yet, at the same time I want the love and support of everyone around me.  Even when I’m not always being the nicest.  I know it seems unfair and I agree with that.  So I am currently trying to practice the idea that THIS moment is important… and then the next moment is important… and all moments of life are important.  Maybe this will pull me out of feeling so focused on my self pity and remember that others around me are trying to live their important life moments and my negativity is probably making it hard for them.

Each moment is important.  I don’t know how we go about continually reminder ourselves of this, but of all things, this is clearly something worth trying for.

This is me… trying to live my best moments even through the face of fear.
20190329_144736.jpg