365 Day Blog Post Challenge 2019
202. When’s the last time you made a new friend?
Making new friends for me has been a challenge since I was little. I have always been incredibly shy and was never one to just go up to someone and start talking to them. As I have gotten older, I find that I am not as shy (although still have those shy person tendencies), but the problem now is that I just have zero conversationalist skills. I completely lack the ability to make small talk, which of course, makes it a challenge to make friends. Reason being that just like when I was young, even now that I am older, people tend to misinterpret my quietness or my lack of speaking to being snobbish. Which is as far from the truth as you can get. In reality, I desperately WANT to talk and be a part of the conversation. Frankly, I often just do not know what to say.
I have progressed some over the years and can hold my own if it comes to a brief conversation. I’ve learned the basic questions to ask to engage conversations. The issue tends to arise after I’ve asked the basic 4-5 questions I know to ask and the conversation then comes to a lull. Then what? Well, I tend to do whatever I have to do in order to escape the situation and retreat as quickly as possible. This is clearly NOT the best means for making new friends.
This being said, this is why I tend to make friends and keep those friends for long periods of time. My closest friendship was made almost 40 years ago. We are still close to this day (as a matter of fact, she recently was ordained and married Don and I in 2017). I also have friendships that I still cherish deeply, but we do not have consistent contact. We may get together a few times a year, but the best thing is that every time, it’s like no time has passed. You know those friends? The ones that you will have for life even though you don’t necessarily see each or even talk that often. Some of my other closest friendships are family members. Those that I have known my entire life. I have several cousins that I would consider some of my very best friends. I’ve had other close friendships that have sort of faded away after many years of friendship for one reason or another, which does make me sad.
New friendships? I am going to say the last time I made a “new” friend would have to be about 4 years ago. This was about the time that Don and I started hanging out with a few of the guys from his work and their wives. Over the years we have grown closer and I always look forward to when we get together.
I find that I am just one of those people that does not need a large amount of friends. I am very happy with my small group of friends and the bonds that we have formed. I do not feel cheated or feel like I am missing out on anything. I may not have 1000 followers on Instagram or 500 friends on Facebook, but that’s okay. I am still perfectly content.