365 Day Blog Post Challenge: EPIC FAIL!!

My Epic Fail

20190531_055637I’M BACK

Clearly I have failed my 365 day blog post challenge.  I only managed to make it through day 100.  Then life happened.  As I’ve mentioned, I was diagnosed with Complex Atypical Endometrial Hyperplasia late February 2019.  This resulted in the immediate need to schedule a full hysterectomy with a bilateral salpingectomy and oophorectomy.   Basically, I needed to be gutted like a fish.  Due to the CAEH, I had abnormal precancerous cells and we needed to remove everything as quickly as possible to try and prevent those precancerous cells turning cancerous.  Jump forward 4 weeks from diagnoses and I was in the operating room going through the most extensive and aggressive surgery I have ever had.  That was April 1st, 2019.

I had done a lot of internet research (which is both good and bad) prior to the surgery to try and find out what my recovery was going to be like.  I ran into a lot of conflicting information.  Some people would say that they felt great and were up and about in as little as 2 weeks.  Some people said that it took them 10-12 months before they felt “normal” again.  Being that I have had two other surgeries and I had relatively good recovery for both of them, I thought for sure I was going to fall into that group of people that had surgery…. rested for a few weeks… and then would be up doing normal “life stuff” (with some restrictions of course) rather quickly.  I was actually looking forward to a quick recovery and a little time off work to get some of those things done around the house that I’ve been putting off for ages.  Well… none of that happened.  No quick recovery and no getting things crossed off my “to-do” list.

Even though I thought for sure I would be one of those extraordinary recoveries, I decided I would do a little preparation because I knew that for at least the first few days, I was going to be tired and on pain medication.  So, I went ahead and wrote a few “365 Day Blog Posts” prior to surgery.  I had them set to post over the first few days of recover.  That’s were things went downhill.

Recover has been difficult to say the least.  I’ve had both physical and emotional issues that were extreme enough that prevented me from completing a blog post each day.  For the first 4 weeks, due to internal incision issues and an external incision that had popped, my weight lifting restriction was cut to just the weight of a water bottle.  This prevented me from even lifting my laptop on and off of my lap.  Hence, my 365 day blog post challenge fizzled.

I managed to make it through this challenge for 100 days, which I am proud of.  I enjoyed the experience.  The 365 day blog post challenge required me to write about random things.  Most of which I would never have thought to write about.  It also forced me to confront some questions that brought up a lot of emotions.  Which was tough, but good for me.

I am sad that this health issue arose and I was not able to complete all 365 days.  Maybe I’ll give it a try again next year.  For now.. I will focus on blogging about other aspects of my life.  Life seems so much different to me now after all I’ve been though over the past 2 months and I feel like I have so much to share on my experience.

Life is moving forward.  Slowly, but at least there is movement and that is what is important.  It is time to get back to the things I love doing!

My Story/My Hysterectomy Story: 365 day blog challenge Day 100. Life Can be a Challenge

365 Day Blog Post Challenge

Day 100

 

Instead of doing a random blog topic, I thought I would spend my 100th blog talking about my current situation.

Today is day 10 of my recovery from my complete hysterectomy and bilateral salpinectomy and oopherectomy.  I honestly thought I would be further improved by now.

Although my pain level is at a moderate 3/10, I am having a really tough time with horrible pressure issues. I don’t know how else to describe it other then it feels like my internal parts are trying to fall out of my body. I was told it was because I was overdoing things and putting pressure on the internal stitches but today I did nothing but spend the whole day in bed resting. Yet I still have this horrible feeling. I suppose I will call the doctor tomorrow for advise.

Other areas of difficulty are the onset of surgical menopause. I am having all of the typical menopause symptoms all at once and strong.  Night sweats, hot flashes, insomnia and escalated anxiety.  I am struggling with the options of HRT (hormone replacement therapy). For every good I also find a bad, so it’s hard to make an educated decision.

I think the biggest challenge is that externally after 10 days, I am starting to appear “better”. This makes those around me think that I should be doing more then I currently am. Even though we were told this would be up to a 6-8 week recovery, when you appear better on the outside, people think you are ready to start getting back into a normal routine. This is so not the case and can cause a good deal of tension and stress, not to mention  pressure on me as I feel guilty not doing all the things people are used to me doing.

This has truly been a challenge. I hope things improve over the next week.

My Story: 365 day blog challenge Day 99. Needing a Break

365 day blog post challenge

Day 99

Hysterectomy Recovery…need a break

 

I am going to take a little break tonight on my blog post challenge,

Although I am rounding up on day 8 post surgery, I have been advised by my doctor that I am overdoing it. This is strange because I have been really good about staying in bed a lot, but clearly my internal incisions can’t handle even the little movement I’ve been doing. I started feeling strange pressure issues in the region of where the surgery was. Per the doctor that is because when I overdo things, the swelling increases, which puts pressure on the incisions. The last thing I want is to prolapse, so I am going to take a break tonight on the blogging and just try and relax and lay flat.

 

 

 

My Story: 365 day blog challenge Day 98 Cleanliness

365 Day Blog Post Challenge 2019
Day 98
315. How long can you go without a bath or brushing your teeth?  What are your ideas about cleanliness?

I have a double part answer to this questions.  I have different levels when it comes to my ideas of cleanliness for personal hygiene and household cleanliness (clutter).

When it comes to personal hygiene, I’m sort of a tickler on showering and brushing my teeth.  At a minimum, I need to brush my teeth twice a day.  Sometimes three if I sneak in a brushing at work.  I cannot go to sleep at night without brushing my teeth.  I just do not like the way it feels.  Also, unfortunately, I inherited the genes for really bad teeth, so it is important that I try an do all I can to keep up with healthy teeth and gums so I do not end up losing them at an early age.

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

As for showering.. I’m an every day kind of gal.  Although, there are certain occasions when I may skip a day (those lazy Sunday’s I was talking about on one of my previous blogs would be an example).  I actually am one of those people that just hates to “get ready”.  Meaning that I know when I shower that I am then going to have to go through the whole process of “prepping” myself after I’m done.  Moisturizing, makeup, blow drying my hair.  I have super crazy hair.  It’s naturally curly, which I know many people say they wished they had, but mine is not that beautiful curl.  I have this ringlet, frizzy, brittle looking curl that if not tamed by the blow drawer, looks hideous.  When we are camping or there is some other reason I cannot blow dry my hair (for instance, this surgery has required that I not hold anything heaver then a bottle of water, so I am not able to blow dry my hair), I have to pull it back into a tight ponytail.  And even then there are crazy hairs that stick out all over the place.  It’s just not a pretty site.
Even with all of this, I still feel the need to shower everyday.  I just don’t feel comfortable if I don’t feel clean.

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Photo by Gratisography on Pexels.com

As for household cleanliness, this is where I am a lot more lenient.  Although I do not particularly care of clutter and I do not like when things are actually “dirty”, I am much more tolerable when it comes to clutter cleanliness then I am personal hygiene cleanliness.  If paperwork piles up for a week on the table, it doesn’t freak me out.  My husband however is exact opposite.  I don’t think he goes one day without complaining about all of the “stuff” we have in our house.  And we live in a tiny little 750 square foot house, so as you can imagine, there is not exactly a lot of room for “stuff”, so I’m not always sure what he is referring to.  He would prefer that we live in a space that looks like a hotel room.  Hardly anything around and very plain looking.  I, myself, have come to the realization that if my house is a little dusty or if I have some boxes stacked in the corner of my spare room, it’s not the end of the world.  I will admit that there are times things get out of hand in our place due to my little shopping addiction.  That’s when it starts to stress me out.  I don’t like “overwhelming” clutter.

My Story: 365 day blog challenge Day 97 My Biggest Vice

365 Day Blog Post Challenge 2019
Day 97
270. What is your biggest vice?

The definition of a vice is, “a practice, behaviour, or habit generally considered immoral, sinful, criminal, rude, taboo, depraved, or degrading in the associated society”.

By this definition, I would have to say that I don’t really have any “real” vices.  I do have some bad habits, but nothing by definition that would be considered sinful, rude or immoral. If I had to pick a “vice” that I would consider to be my biggest, it would definitely be my emotional shopping.

I would consider this a vice because there have been times when I have actually tried to hide my shopping. The majority my shopping is done online, so the only way I can hide it is to get home first before Don so that I can get the packages inside and in the spare room before he gets home. Now….This doesn’t happen often, the whole “hidding” thing, but it has happened in the past. So this definitely makes it a vice for me.  When anything you do becomes something you feel the need to hide, I guess  it probably qualifies as a n actually vice.

This is something I actually thought about prior to my surgery last week. I thought, “Hmmm…. What if I want to buy something and it would be delivered during my recovery…” .  Since I’m not allowed to lift anything for 2-3 weeks, I wouldn’t be able to get any packages  in the house before he got home. So no shopping for  me  for a while!!  😂

My Story: 365 day blog challenge Day 96 My Perfect Day

365 Day Blog Post Challenge 2019
Day 96
263.  What is your idea of a perfect day?

 

Beings I am currently experiencing a pretty aggressive bout of insomnia, I would have to say that the start of my idea of a perfect day would be waking up from a good night’s sleep. I don’t even need a full 8 hours. I would settle for a consistent/uninterrupted 5-6 hours. To make it a perfect day, I would also need to be able to wake up in my without assistance from an alarm clock. ⏰

Although we love to go out and do things, some of my favorite days have been those lazy days when we wake up and have coffee in bed while watching a n early morning Sunday movie. Most recently we have become hooked on watching a show called “Creature Features”. These are old B type monster/horror/SiFi movies. Most are pretty terrible, but we enjoy watching and making fun of them.

After the movie, as long as we didn’t have to run errands, I would say that pretty much anything Don and I do together would be a perfect day. For Don, he would probably say a perfect day would be then going on a long bike ride. For me, maybe a trip to the casino for a little penny slot machine play, or even just sitting around the house relaxing would be wonderful. I’m pretty much a home body so anytime I get to stay home is perfect for me.

To top off my perfect day, any take out food for dinner would be fabulous. No cooking or cleaning. Then off to bed!

This to me would be a perfect day.

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My Story: 365 day blog challenge Day 95 Learning to Drive

365 Day Blog Post Challenge 2019
Day 95
176. Tell how, when, where you learned to drive and any memorable experiences

 

I had a rather crash course into the world of driving.

I will never forget my first time actually getting behind the wheel of a car. It was one evening after dinner and my dad was going to drive my Grandma home. She lived just a few blocks away, but I always loved to go with my parents whenever they left to run errands, so I asked to tag along. As we went outside my Dad tossed me the keys and said that I should drive us. I guess this was a good way to handle this because if we waited for me to get up the courage to do it on my own, I probably never would have.

Like I said, my Grandma’s apartment was just a few blocks away, but it did required going on two “main” streets to get there. I managed to make the first right hand turn with no troubles and proceeded to make the left turn and then another right turn to pull up in front of her apartment. Hurray!! I got her home without any damage to any of us or the car.

After we waited to make sure she was safely inside, we headed back to the house. I managed to make the first turn fine, but the next turn I ended up going up on the curb as I turned. Oops! Cut that to short. Luckily I didn’t hit the pole  when I jumped the curb.

Once we pulled up in front of the house, I did bumped the curb a few times when trying to park. But I made it!!  It’s funny how we build things up in our head and then when we actually do them, most of the time they are not as scary as we thought they would be. From that moment on, I loved driving and couldn’t wait to get my license. I was so ready to have that independence that came with driving.

person driving
Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Pexels.com

 

My Story: 365 day blog challenge Day 94 Feeling Secure

365 Day Blog Post Challenge 2019
Day 94
375. What makes you feel the most secure?

Currently, what brings me the feeling of security is my husband and my parents. This has been a very challenging month. I went from finding out I had complex atypical endometrial hyperplasia to having a complete hysterectomy with a bilateral salpinectomy and oopherectomy. My surgery was Monday and I don’t know how I would have gotten through this month or surgery without them.  These three people have brought me much needed security this week. The surgery day was terrifying and this first few days of recovery has been challenging. My mom has been with me all week sitting here in the house with me while I sleep and heal. Given that I suffer from intense anxiety (it especially surfaces when I feel I have strange things going on within my body), having her here during the day while Don is at work has been a huge form of security. Sometimes (especially when it comes to anxiety) it is tough to be alone. There is a sense of security having someone close to help you if something goes wrong.I

I love these people so much and appreciate all they do (above and beyond) to make me feel that security needed to get through  this difficult time.

My Story: 365 day blog challenge Day 93 My favorite story about me

365 Day Blog Post Challenge 2019
Day 93
364. What’s a favorite story you have about yourself?

One of my favorite stories about myself would be the time when I was a toddler and apparently already had some pent up anger issues.

I would say I was somewhere between 1-2 years of age and was apparently playing with my brother and cousin. My mom thought it was time for me to take a nap and put me in my crib.  I clearly was not happy to not be able to play anymore and so I threw a fit.  I screamed and cried for a long time.  According to my mom, I finally got quite.  She thought I had finally worn myself out from all the crying and went to sleep.

Clearly that was not the case because instead of sleeping I was actually in my crib taking my anger out on my poor doll. I had one of those dolls from the 70’s with the hard plastic face and the soft stuffed body.  Apparently I was so angry I stomped on the face of the doll so hard that I cracked the face. I then proceeded to pull off the plastic face and pulled out ALL of the stuffing from the doll.

A while later when my mom came to check on me she found me FINALLY asleep but she also found my doll stuffing thrown about the room.

This became one of those amusing family stories that was repeated for years.  Fortunately I outgrew those anger issues and now  just hold all my anger inside. ☺

My Story: 365 day blog challenge Day 92 What animal would I be?

365 Day Blog Post Challenge 2019
Day 92
195. If you could be an animal, which one would you choose and why?

This is an easy one… if I could be any animal, it would be a cat… BUT, only if I had a cat mom like me.  My animals are always the most pampered and spoiled animals around.  I don’t believe in adopting a pet if you are not going to go 100% full in.  There is nothing that bothers me more then people that get an animal and either 1.) after months of bonding with the animal, decide they just don’t wan it anymore and get rid of it, or 2.) never let it inside the house and never give it any attention.

So if I could live the type of life my cats have had, I would definitely pick a cat as the animal I would want to be.  First off, cats get to sleep the majority of their days away.  And who wouldn’t want to be able to sleep so much!?  Basically, they sleep, eat, use the bathroom and get affection.  Sounds like a perfect life to me!

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