365 Day Blog Post Challenge 2019
I know that the intent of this 365 day blog post challenge was to have an auto generator pick a topic each day for me to write about. Today however, I am going to go a little off track because I have some things going on in my life that I needed to get off my chest.
Today’s topic is going to be about “the call” I received yesterday afternoon. It was one of those calls that was slightly life changing.
To give a little background, about 5 weeks ago, I started my monthly cycle. Everything was going normal but the problem was it just kept going. The cycle never stopped and after 4 weeks, I finally decided that this was just not normal and went into the doctor. They were a little concerned, as nothing like this had every happened to me before. During my visit they did a double biopsy (uterus and ovary). I am normally pretty good with pain, but I must say.. this was incredibly painful. During the appointment, there were several comments made about checking for cancer. Anytime the “C” word is brought up, it instantly becomes a scary situation.
It took until Wednesday (yesterday) to finally get a call with the results of the biopsy. I received the call from the doctor at 5:10pm. I instantly knew something was wrong pretty much as soon as I heard the doctors voice. I am not sure why I had that feeling, but I did.. and I was correct. The doctor went on to advise that the biopsies came back with abnormal results and showed signs of precancerous cells. I continued to listen as she described what all of this meant and was sort of in a zone when I heard her say that in this situation, they recommend a hysterectomy. I did very well while on the phone with her and managed to get through the conversation without breaking down. Don was standing next to me when I was finishing up the call and the second I hung up I lost it. I completely broke down in tears. Thankfully he was there and instantly put his arms around me and let me cry. He is such an amazing man. He let me get through the tears without even knowing what was going on. Finally I was able to calm down enough to tell him what the doctor had said. He immediately went into “protector” mode. Although scared and devastated, he made me feel safe and I love him so much for that.
For hours I cried on and off. I called my mother and also my godmother because I needed to hear them tell me it was going to be okay. Don had already done that, but sometimes you just need to hear it over and over. My godmother had a hysterectomy due to cancer when she was 28, so she was able to explain to me a little about the process and how it all worked out for her. For me, sometimes the unknown is the scariest part of any situation, so being able to talk to someone that could tell me what to expect was helpful.
By about 9pm last night, I was emotionally and physically exhausted from all the crying. I thought for sure I wouldn’t sleep but I ended up passing out as soon as I hit the pillow.
Today I had an appointment with the Gynecological Oncology department. I guess the wheels are already in motion because we are already going to get started on the process of scheduling the surgery.
As I was not fully able to comprehend everything my doctor was telling me yesterday, today I learned from the Oncology doctor what I have is Complex Atypical Endometrial Hyperplasia. This is abnormal precancerous cells that if untreated will turn into cancer over time, hence the need to have the hysterectomy.
It’s amazing how life can change so much in just the short course of 36 hours. That called was the first time ever in my life that I actually thought about my death in a serious way. I recall at one point thinking that I was just not ready to die. I know that may sound a little dramatic since they didn’t tell me I had cancer, only precancerous cells, but it still went through my mind regardless.
This is going to be a challenging next few months. Between organizing things at work so that I can be off for 4-8 weeks to getting through the surgery and recovery… I am going to have to really pull from deep inside for the strength for all of this.
I just read that people with Complex Atypical Endometrial Hyperplasia also have a higher risk of developing breast cancer. Sometimes the internet is NOT a good place to go for information Sometimes you find out way more then what you wanted or needed to know.