My Story: 365 day blog challenge Day 51 Hate is a strong word

365 Day Blog Post Challenge 2019
Day 51
313. Talk about a time when you hated someone or something

Hate is such a strong word.  To hate is to have an intense or passionate dislike for someone or something.  Often times in anger we say that we “hate” someone, yet then after some time passes, that feeling of hatred dwindles and we end up back in good graces with those that we not so long ago said that we “hated”.  I guess my question would be, can you “temporarily” hate someone and eventually lose that hatred and go back to liking a person again?  Or are you really feeling hatred at all?  As defined, at what level do you have to reach to “passionately” dislike someone?

For the most part (minus a few chosen few) there is not really anyone that I would say that I hated.  There have been some pretty severe circumstances that have made me really question my feelings towards others, but in the long run, those feelings of anger, disappointment  and hurt eventually go away and I feel at peace with those individuals.  So in the big picture, I don’t think “hate” would be the right word to use.

I’ve definitely thought I hated someone though. It was a long time ago.. but I can still vividly remember how I felt.   I had someone hurt me very badly when I was younger.  Someone I loved deeply and someone that I thought loved me back in the same way, ended up breaking my heart.  This was not your typical heartbreak.  This was the deepest pain I had ever felt and it continues to be the biggest pain I have ever experienced so far in my life.  This person lied to me and when the truth came out, it cut me to the core of my soul.  I believed in this person and trusted that what they were telling me was truth, yet, through circumstances which could not be hidden, I found out it was all a lie.  My heartbreak quickly turned to anger, and for years I “hated” this person.  At first I hated them for the action that caused me such incredible pain, but over the years, I realized that my hatred for them was more because their actions had changed me as a person.  I was never the same person after this all happened.  Now, keep in mind, I had already survived a childhood of sexual abuse and also had been cheated on by her husband, so if this caused me so much pain that it changed me forever, it clearly was traumatic.   Yet, it was this incident that put walls around my heart which still exist to this day.  So, do I still hate this person?  No, I do not.  Which makes me wonder if what I felt back then was really hatred or just hurt.  For me, the feelings of hurt can sometimes be mistaken for feelings of hatred and this can be a very bad thing.  Holding on to what you think is hatred can make the hurt last all that much longer.

affection board broken broken hearted
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Things I hate?  Rude people, bananas, rain, running late, car troubles, escargot…. seriously now, the list could go on and on.  But do I really “hate” these things?  Probably not.  Hate after all, is such a strong word to describe the little things in life that annoy me.

 

 

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