My Story: 365 day blog challenge Day 22

365 Day Blog Post Challenge 2019
Day 22
423. What was your relationship with your grandparents like?

This is a little bit of a touchy subject for me, but I am going to dive in and work through the uncomfortableness for the sake of keeping my 365 day blog commitment.

I was not particularly close to either set of my Grandparents.  This was not by choice.  It was no secret that my brother and I were not “favorites” to any of our Grandparents on either side.  One memory I have from my childhood is when one of my Grandmothers was telling my parents that they gave more to my cousins and less to my brother and I because we had parents that were still married, while my cousins needed more gifts and attention because they were from “broken” homes.  It’s interesting the things that stick in your memory, even as a small child.  It is difficult as a child to be treated differently without really being able to understand why.  Now that I am older, I understand.  I don’t necessarily agree, but at least I understand the rationalization they were trying to make for the difference in treatment.

I never meet my real Grandfather on my Dad’s side.  Well, apparently I meet him once when I was a baby, but of course I don’t remember that.  He was never a part of our lives.  To be honest, I don’t really know anything about him.  My step-Grandfather was the guy I knew and loved.  He passed away when I was a very young girl.  My Grandmother on my Dad’s side was a good lady.  She clearly favored my cousins and I often thought that she may have had something against me in particular.  Although she would do very sweet things like go to a popular local deli and buy my brother, my cousins and I sandwiches and bring them to our school and leave them in the office for us for lunch (it was always fun to get a note to go to the office to pick our lunches up), she also used to do some things that still cause me confusion as an adult.  For instance, my brother, two cousins and I would go to church with her every Sunday (my parents rarely went).  We would all go spend the night at her house most Saturday nights when we were young and then all go to church together Sunday mornings.  One of my cousins and I were only 6 months apart, so we were very close.  As we sat in church we would often get antsy (as young children do).  My Grandmother would tell us to stop doing whatever it was we were doing.  My cousin would sometimes push the boundaries and continue doing what she knew she shouldn’t be doing.  My Grandmother would take me by the arm and forcefully take me to the bathroom at the church and spank me until I cried.  Then she would yell at me to stop crying so we could go back into church.  If this just happened once, I would say that maybe she was just having a bad day and I just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  This however happened often.  It was always just me that would end up being spanked.  Never once was it my cousins or even my brother.  Only me…. regardless of who was not being good.  Since my parents didn’t spank us, this was super confusing to me.  I didn’t understand why I was being treated this way when no one else was.  What was it about me that made her do this?  She passed away when I was in my 20’s, so I guess I will never really know the answer to that question.

My Grandmother on my mothers side was around most of my adult life.  She passed away about 10 years ago.  She was a very sweet lady.  I wouldn’t say that we were particularly close, but I do have some great memories of her.
I don’t really talk about my Grandfather on my mothers side.  There is really nothing I have to say about him.  Let’s just say he was not a good man…. and we’ll leave it at that.

I was always envious of people who had close relationships with there Grandparents.  My husband tells me stories all the time about all the time he used to spend with his Grandma and Grandpa. They would go fishing and camping and do things together.  I think that’s amazing.  I am happy for him that he has those memories, but I do wish I had some of those myself.

 

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