My Story: 365 day blog challenge Day 19

365 Day Blog Post Challenge 2019
Day 19
334. Around other people you are?

Around other people I am…..  awkward and quiet would probably be the best words to describe how I am around other people.  I am not sure if that is how other people view me, but that is how I am always feeling.  I would also say that around other people I am not my true self.  I’m actually a very silly, fun and easy going person when I am around those that I am exceptionally close to (which is just a handful of people).  Anyone outside of that small group of individuals never really gets to see the true me.  And that is really just sad.. because I am a very funny and enjoyable person.  🙂

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Over the years, I have seen improvements, only because I am getting better at hiding on the outside what is actually going on inside.  I will never be that one person in a group that controls the conversation or even makes an effort to contribute to a conversation.  However, I have gotten better at smiling and interjecting small bits of conversation here and there.

When you are a quiet person, this often gives you time to sit back and observe those around you a little more closely.  I always find it amazing to see the differences in people and how they are around others.  It makes me wonder if this is their “true” self, or if like me, they are projecting something outwardly that they are not really feeling internally.

I wonder if it is true what they say… that you “can’t teach old dogs new tricks”.  If that is the case, I don’t think there is much hope that I will ever feel comfortable, open and confident around other people.  I won’t give up on trying, but I just don’t imagine that I will ever be much more then I am now.  I guess that is okay.  We need all types of personalities in this world.  Imagine if EVERYONE was one of those that liked to be the center of attention.  No one would ever get a word in edge wise in any conversation.

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